One moment I was dreaming about myself driving and the next moment I was awaken by my friend due to some reason and ended up I have to drive, for a short distance that is.
In the dreamland, driving seem so easy but in reality, I was actually rather stressed out to be in the driver seat without a license. And even though I have been attending driving lesson and is about to complete it, for that particular night I just cant seem to be driving normally. Well, this is just dream Vs reality or perhaps dream Vs bad driving :P
I admit that it is my own weakness that I like to dream, not just any kind of dream but unrealistic dream. I enjoy indulging myself with unrealistic thoughts and neglect important stuffs.
And perhaps I have been dreaming for too long that it has become a habit for me. Every time I tried to be serious about anything, that drive will only last for 15min and I will soon enter into my dream state that few people can intrude. That explain my performance in class, although I wanted very much to do work, I am just no motivated and discipline enough to put in full focus and soon my attention will drift to other useless stuff.
I remember very clearly back in Year1, I was still rather full of myself and self centered. Although this very much pissed people off around me, I am still pretty confident about myself and I never had any problem with my work and I don’t really care about my surrounding. But as soon as I enter Year2, I start to get a little over confident and start to play a fool. And as expected my grades were seriously affected and I am current at the league bottom.
Despite attempt to improve my grade, semester 2 wasn’t really friendly to me and although there have been improvement, it just wasn’t good enough. To make things worst, there is rather lot of distraction for me at that point of time and it is rather hard to concentrate. Not forgetting my own very attitude at point of time in which I wanted very much to win and start comparing myself with people around me. I will often shun away from people that I find that doesn’t contribute to my success and stick with people of higher level. Now when I think about it, I kind of look down on that kind of me just weeks ago.
Now that the semester has ended and many things have already been settled. The rightful things I can do now is to enjoy this holiday and work even harder for year3. Not forgetting that I must always stick to my principle that makes me kiwi and not being just somebody who works with motive just to achieve something for the day. It all narrow down to something so easily said but yet hard to applied. And that word will be “attitude”. Perhaps attitude is a small thing that makes a big difference.
I cant think of a suitable title for this entry, perhaps it is just a reflection on myself by myself :)